Have you ever seen a room and thought, “Man, this space is amazing, when can I move in!?”. Certainly you have. I saw a bedroom on Instagram yesterday and I immediately forwarded it to my good friend Diana explaining that it was my absolute! dream! bedroom! omg! Thanks to apps like Instagram and Pinterest, I’m willing to bet you have a ton of amazing spaces liked, pinned, and forwarded, too.
But what do you really like about the spaces, specifically? What makes the design good to you? Why is it resonating?
When it comes to good design, Interior Designers know the exact elements needed, architects understand the characteristic “musts”, but there’s a layer far, far deeper than aesthetics and functionality…
This layer is called YOUR gut response.
YOUR emotional reaction.
Your unique experiences in life that composes YOU, and how YOU relate to the world around YOU, make that room a pass or a go for you.
No design book or Instagram-famous content creator can tell YOU, “This red ceiling is a trend, so do it”, or “Those pillow inserts must be down-filled, shame on you!”, “This paint company has the only white you should ever use on your walls, ever!”. Then there are the magazines and online click bait, even some blogs, that tell us more design rules to follow and things to avoid, like":
Don’t use blue in the kitchen, it increases appetite.
Don’t have a bathtub, it’s not good for the planet - shower instead. Don’t wallpaper a tiny room in a large print.
Don’t put a shag rug beneath the dining room table - spagetii night with kids will never be the same!
Don’t randomly place books on a shelf, color code them or face the spines backwards so you don’t have to deal with “visual noise”.
Don’t Don’t Don’t. And okay, there is some truth in those things. But I have seen all of the don’t lists get broken again and again and sometimes, those homes are the most magical and beautiful. The family is thriving. The space radiates love and warmth. Life is happening…
Look at American interiors from Leanne Ford with all of her “stuff” around (I live in the same vibe) or Justina Blakeney with her jungalow world that is full-on color saturated plant goddess, or Australian designer Sibella Court who once wrote an incrediable series of sensory overload design books that dripped in personality, clutter, and messy bookshelves… There are massive amounts of people who love the layering and the “stuff”. There are tons of rule breakers out there who made a name for themselves by NOT adhering to the Don’t lists that exist out there.
Look at Kelly frickin’ Wearstler. The way she mixes and matches, breaks rules, plays with scale. Most of her design flips a middle finger to what’s shown in the largely mediocre world of decor that we see on the high street and dare I say - in Instagram-land.
I want you to think about this: When you see a space that you love, try to pick apart WHY and HOW it makes you feel.
That’s the secret to getting it right in your own home.
Why does it register with you? What clicks? What can you source from the space that you envy (maybe you love the lighting, the sofa and the wall color) and what would you avoid duplicating? (perhaps the sofa table and the rug doesn’t feel like your thing).
Oftentimes we don’t know what exactly it is that we like about a space.
We just love it, without a real reason.
Maybe it’s the feeling that all of the objects, together, radiate. It’s the overall vibe, the energy… Or it has specific elements in it that you adore (sofa, wall color, lighting).
Let me ask you something.
What do you love about your husband? Your best friend?
You can say, “He is loyal and sweet, always kind to the kids…”, or “She is always there for me.”
But certainly, a person can be loyal and sweet, kind to the kids, always there for you, but when you sit down to have a conversation it’s straining and awkward. You hug them and don’t feel anything. You see them and there is no connection, no energy, no vibe. It’s like, “Oh, hi.”
So yeah, you love the person but not just because of the good qualities they possess. You love them because there is some cosmic sparkle in your relationship together that you can’t really nail or explain - it’s a vibe - it’s your chemistry together ultimately. You feel like a better person around them.
Take that and apply it to design.
Interior Design school and the myriads designers lined up online dying to tell you that matching your night tables actually matters, is the equivalent of loving your husband or friend because they “work” for you on a foundational level. They love you, they treat you nice, they are loyal.
But that’s ONLY one layer.
The rest of the layers come down to chemistry. Vibe. Feeling. Intuition. The Senses.
The room makes you feel like you are actually a better person.
I’m not even kidding on that. A room can elevate you emotionally so that you feel like a better person. Don’t believe me? Try this:
Check in at a gorgeous hotel that you love. That’s really exclusive, super enviable. Don’t you feel amazing just being there in that beautiful space, opening the door to your stunning room? Isn’t it wonderful to shower and get ready in that gorgeous white marble bathroom with lighting that makes you look stunning? Don’t you adore stepping out onto your veranda as the sun sets over the sparkling blue sea?
Doesn’t the environment elevate you?
Doesn’t it make you feel special, more attractive, even a bit lighter and more alive? Don’t you start to relax and get into your own flow?
Rooms can elevate us - even in our own home - in fact especially in our home do we want to achieve this vibe - to feel great in our space whether it’s a one room apartment or a sprawling country home.
What exactly speaks to you about the rooms that you love?
While there are many factors that contribute to good interior design (or else no one would spend years at university studying interiors), many more (the actual sweet spot) beyond the foundational essentials are purely based on how your brain and gut is connecting with the visuals and mood of the room.
A room that you love to be in is only about YOU, not about what mainstream culture is trying to tell you to like.
If you want to try a fun, creative exercise with me this week then I advise this:
Go to Pinterest
Create a board called LIVING ROOMS I LOVE (or bedrooms, kitchens, etc. but stick to one room).
Start pinning images from Pinterest that catch your eye or give you an emotional response. It can be of other living rooms, or even of people, nature, whatever.
After about 15-20 images, I bet you’ll start seeing a theme. Keep pinning over the course of about a week.
After about 30-40 images, you’ll definitely see a red thread running through most of the images - something connecting them. It could be mood, colors, textures that keep repeating…
Once you have around 40 images, stop the exercise. It’s time to edit down. Look at each image and think about what exactly resonates - is it mood or objects or whatever is happening in the photo? Or is it color or textures or something else - nostalgia?
If you see some photos that you think shouldn’t be part of this edit, delete them. Try to tighten your focus and edit down to 15 images.
Once you have your 15 images, you can edit further for an even cleaner edit - pick 8 and stop.
That’s your mood board for your next room. It really is that easy.
Next, look at the elements of each room and either on your computer, phone, or paper, jot down what calls to you in each image.
Be as expressive as you wish. Maybe one image makes you remember something or feel something BIG.
Maybe another image has a lamp you must have in your new living room scheme.
Perhaps you see a sofa in a few images that has a particular shape and color and you realize this is the sofa you need in your own home?
It could be that you like all of the texture you’re seeing in each image, reminding you of how tactile you really love your environment and that you need more cozy vibes in your space to feel good and connected there.
This is the process of a good edit, a clean overview of what you want, what you desire in the room you’re looking to spruce up or totally overhaul.
Of course, the design process from this point is a bit more tedious - floor plans, sourcing, etc. but if you have clarity around the overall vibe and idea for the space, the work involved to get you from one step to the next is a lot easier.
Clarity and intention is everything in design - and in life - but also you need to FEEL it. You need to have that room chemistry.
If you want to try the mood board exercise, please drop a link to your mood board from Pinterest in the comments below so I can check them out. I’m super curious as to what you come up with.
Love,
Holly
P.S. 🎉 To celebrate my 15th anniversary of teaching online, I'm offering my top-rated, self-paced CLARITY COURSE for just €129 until June 23rd! Plus, get a FREE 60-minute live kick-off training session with me to jumpstart your journey!
🌟Discover your true path and gain clarity and confidence in your business, blog, brand, and life. Dive deep with worksheets, vision boards, journaling, intention cards, and mind mapping.
✨ Don’t miss out on this special offer—transform your life today!
Agree completely re the would-be tyranny of all those "never do this" "you must do that" pundits. There are no absolute rights or wrongs (except maybe "Live Love Laugh" signage—I can't think of a world where they're right).
Great post Holly! I love the idea of following your senses and intuition. It’s a good muscle to exercise in all areas of your life, because when you nail it and build a space, career or life that your “insides” respond to over and over again you really practice a sense of contentment all the time!