I’m not divorcing, been there twice. My now spouse is a control freak, doesn’t like change. When we moved into our last house I told him to pick which rooms he wanted to claim as his, because I wanted an art studio and a bedroom! It worked beautifully. It makes such a difference to have your own space and surround yourself with the things that bring joy. Great article!
Great article and wonderful to hear it from a young adult's perspective. I left my home to my ex, and my son, age two, and I lived in several different apartments for 7 years until I could afford a home near my job. It took several years to purchase items for my house, all from tag sales or friends, but through decorating my own space, I got back to being the person I once was, before my marriage. My son is happily married now with one child and is successful in every way. It was a long road, filled with hazards, but we both made it.
I love watching people reinvent themselves after divorce or separation. I recently helped a friend pick new colors for her home exterior post-breakup and it was such a happy, fun process, with a mood-boosting result. You nailed it on this one.
Loved reading this! I’m not divorcing now, I did 23 y ago and still live in the same house. Will retire fully in 1 or 2 or maximum in 3 years . Thinking of moving to another area after 30 y in this house. It might still be a challenge to let go of the past and build a new life in an unknown place. Great positive vision in your writing gives new insights and inspiration! Thanks for that!
I am currently going through a separation after 23 years of marriage. Not the vision I had for our future after raising children and owning a construction business together with my husband for 20 years. This has been a shock to say the very least. I was also a child of divorce. Watching my mother struggle was something I never wanted for my own children. This series on Divorce Design could not have come a better time. It has inspired me to enroll in Mood Board Magic and I am learning so much in that class. I want to discover my brand so I can help other people in this situation. I know first hand what it is like to be in the family home after 18 years and have memories everywhere. I want to help people begin to look at the potential in their spaces to start over. Find themselves. Let that show in their home. Give them the gentle guidance to begin again and find out what their style is. Thank you for sharing this and encouraging another way our love for design can be beneficial to others.
Amy - Wow what a story. My god you've been through a lot and I'm sorry for that - I know the feeling of having the vision of life not be exactly how life is currently - but you are still alive and still have time to create a new vision and you will - for sure. I am happy you're in my class. And everything you have said about looking for the potential in post-divorce living/homes and giving gentle guidance to begin again sounds so encouraging as well. We can't avoid some things in life that happen to us because of someone else's mistakes or decision, but we can change our perspective and learn to LET THEM move on and also allow ourselves to do the same. I am learning about LET THEM a lot in coaching program with Mel Robbins. Basically, she says that if people want to leave us or not be our friend or whatever - LET THEM. But we can take back power by then saying, AND LET ME... And then you do what YOU decide to do next. "LET HIM leave me but LET ME make a beautiful new life for myself." So this takes away the power that person has over your life and puts you in a position of power by saying LET THEM or LET HIM - this is powerful to release someone in this way - and to reframe everything by saying ok, let them do what they will, but let me do what I will as well. I have used this SO MUCH since I learned it from Mel and it's changed SO MUCH in my life.
I’m not divorcing, been there twice. My now spouse is a control freak, doesn’t like change. When we moved into our last house I told him to pick which rooms he wanted to claim as his, because I wanted an art studio and a bedroom! It worked beautifully. It makes such a difference to have your own space and surround yourself with the things that bring joy. Great article!
Great article and wonderful to hear it from a young adult's perspective. I left my home to my ex, and my son, age two, and I lived in several different apartments for 7 years until I could afford a home near my job. It took several years to purchase items for my house, all from tag sales or friends, but through decorating my own space, I got back to being the person I once was, before my marriage. My son is happily married now with one child and is successful in every way. It was a long road, filled with hazards, but we both made it.
Good article, I remember building a new life bit by bit when I was younger and now seem to be facing a challenge again.
What is your current challenge, if you care to tell me....
Finances now as lost my business during the pandemic
I love watching people reinvent themselves after divorce or separation. I recently helped a friend pick new colors for her home exterior post-breakup and it was such a happy, fun process, with a mood-boosting result. You nailed it on this one.
That is wonderful to hear, I'm so happy she is using color to help her to move forward. Color can be so transformative.
Loved reading this! I’m not divorcing now, I did 23 y ago and still live in the same house. Will retire fully in 1 or 2 or maximum in 3 years . Thinking of moving to another area after 30 y in this house. It might still be a challenge to let go of the past and build a new life in an unknown place. Great positive vision in your writing gives new insights and inspiration! Thanks for that!
Where are you thinking to move?
Probably moving in Belgium to another province when I’m fully retired. Still working for 1-2 y maximum. But great to prepare mentally.
My friend is going to put her house up for sale in Belgium and it's beautiful, are you looking for a home by chance? :)
This is the home that will be for sale in Belgium - https://www.instagram.com/yvestown
Thanks for the referral but I can’t afford to buy a house. I’m renting 🙏🏼
Ah ok - well renting is also wonderful, I have always rented and love the freedom and flexibility!
I am currently going through a separation after 23 years of marriage. Not the vision I had for our future after raising children and owning a construction business together with my husband for 20 years. This has been a shock to say the very least. I was also a child of divorce. Watching my mother struggle was something I never wanted for my own children. This series on Divorce Design could not have come a better time. It has inspired me to enroll in Mood Board Magic and I am learning so much in that class. I want to discover my brand so I can help other people in this situation. I know first hand what it is like to be in the family home after 18 years and have memories everywhere. I want to help people begin to look at the potential in their spaces to start over. Find themselves. Let that show in their home. Give them the gentle guidance to begin again and find out what their style is. Thank you for sharing this and encouraging another way our love for design can be beneficial to others.
Amy - Wow what a story. My god you've been through a lot and I'm sorry for that - I know the feeling of having the vision of life not be exactly how life is currently - but you are still alive and still have time to create a new vision and you will - for sure. I am happy you're in my class. And everything you have said about looking for the potential in post-divorce living/homes and giving gentle guidance to begin again sounds so encouraging as well. We can't avoid some things in life that happen to us because of someone else's mistakes or decision, but we can change our perspective and learn to LET THEM move on and also allow ourselves to do the same. I am learning about LET THEM a lot in coaching program with Mel Robbins. Basically, she says that if people want to leave us or not be our friend or whatever - LET THEM. But we can take back power by then saying, AND LET ME... And then you do what YOU decide to do next. "LET HIM leave me but LET ME make a beautiful new life for myself." So this takes away the power that person has over your life and puts you in a position of power by saying LET THEM or LET HIM - this is powerful to release someone in this way - and to reframe everything by saying ok, let them do what they will, but let me do what I will as well. I have used this SO MUCH since I learned it from Mel and it's changed SO MUCH in my life.