How To Feel More Alone At Home

For mothers and others with a full house when all you crave is quiet!

Hi friends, welcome to a new week filled with possibilities and hopefully, your children going back to school like mine (ha ha)! Let’s be honest, around this time each summer, mothers are more than ready for the school bell to ring even though the little ones are dreading it. I say this with love in my heart and without shame for all the moms who are scared to admit it - I can’t wait until school starts on Thursday - yessss!!!

If you follow me on Instagram (@decor8), you may recall that we had a fantastic summer break filled with days at the local swimming pool, a trip to Salzburg followed by a week a small alpine village in a gorgeous boho-style hotel, and another week up near the German coast with a day trip to The Netherlands. One of my big accomplishments was starting and finishing a 4 hour hike and jumping into mountain water that was ice cold - I always envied people on Instagram who take their ice baths on social, so I did my own version in water that literally turned my feet blue when I waded in… But I found the courage and jumped in completely and wow - one of the best experiences of my life and I’m not even kidding.

Photo by Zoe on Unsplash

But yes, I feel ready for what’s ahead now work-wise because I’m rested and ready to get back on the saddle. I’ve been lounging and lingering for about 6 weeks which is quite indulgent and also a good way to drain your bank account but it was worth it - but it’s time to move into Autumn and get going on some of my projects. I’m sure you can relate.

Plus, I can’t talk about the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film another second or I’ll pass out.

Okay, confession time.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

After this summer, I’ve been dreaming lately of being alone in my house (rubbing hands together, insert delirious laughter).

In fact, I’d love to have a few days in my home without a single person needing me or asking for help or wanting breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Truth: I haven’t been alone for two days in my home since 2001 when I was single. I know lots of women who live alone and crave a family, but on the flipside, there are a lot of us with families who crave a few days of solitude.

I’ve been to hotels and resorts alone, yes, but that still involves social contact AND it means getting there and back again, spending a lot of money, and mostly - not being in your own isolated home cocoon with all of your beloved stuff.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Thing is, I doubt I’ll be alone for a few days anytime soon, so what do women like me do when you don’t have the luxury of being alone at home for a few days? What have I done over the past 20+ years to remain sane?

I create moments of peace and alignment in my home office or I go to the balcony or hang out on my favorite chair in my bedroom with the door shut and sometimes locked.

In these sacred nooks, I love to:

1. JOURNAL (writing long form, short form, or art journaling). If I don’t know what to write, I art journal. If I want to write, I draw a card from my Intention Cards deck that I made for my students in my recent Clarity Course. These are such helpful prompts!

2. TAKE ONLINE TESTS (mostly personality tests)

3. WHATSAPP MY FRIENDS leaving podcast-length voice messages.

4. PLAY GAMES - BRAWL STARS or EVERMERGE - on my phone.

5. DOODLE/DRAW flowers, leaves, shapes, patterns, and buildings, then add color.

6. READ BOOKS - Self-help, Psychology, Design, Biographies, Thrillers, etc.

7. YOGA with my headphones on so I can block out noise and tap in.

8. LISTEN TO PODCASTS with my coffee, on my balcony.

9. CLEAN or ORGANIZE something because yes, I am one of those annoying people who relax from cleaning (Just not bathrooms. My favorite room to clean is the kitchen. What about you?)

10. MAKE A MOOD BOARD or VISION BOARD on the wall or in my journals. This practice gives me a great sense of clarity and inner peace.

11. BUY FLOWERS then bring them home and arrange them, which is very relaxing.

12. USE MY STRAVA APP and record a bike ride - I know, this is not at home alone but I go to the forest behind my house where it’s very quiet and ride there for 30-60 minutes and it’s 100% joy. I go when it’s totally dead and no one is around.

13. FLIP AND CLIP MAGAZINES especially clip mags that don’t have coffee table display value. :) You know the ones. Those that are on Milk Magazine level never get clipped but the ones with lots of ugly ads end up clipped for my art journals or mood/vision boards.

14. TAKE PHOTOS of my home, flowers, anything in the house that inspires me.

15. STYLE AND REARRANGE MY HOME which brings me a lot of peace and happiness.

16. PAINT A WALL which sounds crazy but it gives me so much joy to do domestic interiors things that make the home feel and look better but that I also find enjoyable. The flow of rolling paint on walls and trimming out the edges helps me to calm down. The “after” is always wonderful - to have a fresh, new room!

17. PUT ON MY HEADPHONES AND DANCE which is something I do several times a week. I shut my bedroom door while my husband is in his home-office and I dance to mostly pop music, rap, anything that gets me moving. Lately I’m really into the playlist by MousseT called Mousse T’s Ultimate Glitterbox Joy on Spotify. It’s groovy, funky, jazzy and housy - amazzzzzing.

So, those are my tips on how to feel more alone at home. What a post title but honestly, there are a lot of women who crave alone time - especially moms with young children. And there is no shame in that!

What do you do when you need some alone time at home but you’re not “technically” alone?

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