Thinking too much should come with a warning label, “Proceed with Caution”, or maybe, “Enter at your own risk”. I heard it said that sometimes the worst place to be is in your head.
Why do we think so much? What to do next for our business? How to become a better friend? What to do to be a great mom?
What. To. Do. ugh.
Think. Plan. Think again. Ask friends. Think about what they’ve said. Ask your family (Not always the best idea). Research. Google it. Cry. Read an empowering quote. Journal. Meditate. Waste time on Instagram watching cat videos. Think some more.
Do nothing for weeks. It’s RESEARCH right?
Do you have this problem, always thinking, thinking, thinking? Where does this actually come from? I used to barely think. Ha! No, really, it’s true. I did stupid stuff. I did good stuff. I did bad stuff.
BUT AT LEAST I DID THE STUFF.
Sometimes I had regrets, but rarely.
I was so action obsessed that when something didn’t work I barely noticed it. It was like, ”Oh well, I launched 20 things successfully and 3 didn’t work - who cares!?”
Can I have that pill back? The one that gave me crazy amounts of courage? Maybe that’s the pill of youth. When you don’t know yet how risky the risks really are because you’ve not lived long enough yet to have your first heartbreak, experience your first business fail, the first time you don’t get the job you wanted so badly, the first time writing your mother’s obituary.
I sat watching the snow far from my desk pondering what to write here, in this space. I have 10 posts on draft from last week. What’s holding me back from pressing PUBLISH? Why is writing suddenly something that I need to THINK about first? Is this (and I’ll insert air quotes here) “perfectionist thinking”? I don’t think so. That makes it sound good, almost holy, like I just want to “deliver my best work” (more air quotes).
Chronic over-thinking usually stems from fear not from perfectionist thinking. But saying I’m TYPE A definitely sounds cooler.
Fear seems to be tied into self doubt stemming from a lack of confidence.
It’s interesting to consider the word confidence. Confidence isn’t always a total lack of it, in fact it rarely is. People usually say, “Oh, I’m not a very confident person,” but that’s not true.
We may simply lack confidence in one area of our life, or in several areas. Maybe it’s a lack confidence in appearance on one side with tons of confidence in how one works on the other. So you are a confident business person but you’re not confident seeing yourself in photos.
You may be a confident lover but a very insecure cook. Or a confident gardener but you lack confidence as a public speaker.
Over-thinking and lack confidence are the best of friends. You aren’t sure of something so you ruminate over it.
How do you gain confidence and stop thinking so much? By taking action, doing. Pushing through the very thing you fear.
Now it’s time for me to press publish. This is me taking action.
Solidarity!
Loved this article. There was so much to relate to. And while I do understand the root cause of over thinking yet I'm unable to bring myself to that point of taking action without thinking it out over and over again. It just feels next to impossible to take that leap of faith and get into the mode of JUST DO IT!